Pasca HO life

 completed my HO for 2years

floating MO di ophtalmology

struggling as usual...................

2bulan minor posting attachment during medical school, yet, to serve as MO

learning from slit-lamp is not easy,man...

long story short.............

until i got my permanent post, i was sent to sarawak, somewhere nearby Kuching

prior to that, i got married to a widow, 3months before

i would say i regretted my decision for marrying a widow, with 4children and his ex still alive and single

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WIDOW AND 4CHILDREN

before i met him, i was scammed almost 30k for a love that never exist!!

i made personal loan with cimb with rate almost 7%

i was a fool for being trapped

in fact Allah has showed me in so many ways, 

.............he used an IKIM DJ picture 

.............he used to vc but the video will only appeared less than 5mins and then disappeared

.............he made me transfer certain amount to 4 different accounts

.............mama abah and along came to me in BP, after abah found out that i had been contacting this person,who seems to be suspicious for hi, but i followed my foolness, the next day still i disburse the money to the last account that i believed will make him come to me

.............i went to airport, with no saving at all,i took AL for 1week just to take him by my side, i owed my housemate for being there,unfortunately he never came.

then only,i realised that i was being SCAMMED!!!!

mama and abah were very upset, and could not stand with my sadness until abah willing to give 10k to reduced my burden, but i never accepted, since all is my fault, let me bear it

few months later, i met a widow from a muslim date apps

i never expect that, my life would be more worse and not even getting better

................i did another personal loan, to enable us to get married

................i did prsonal loan to allow him own a car

and now, my commitments increasing and not even lessen

i only get to know, he tried to get back to her ex, as he asked her for marriage in june, after i had been serious with him since april

how fool am I, still want to give him room for change!

he still entertaining his ex's demands and claims, beyond the limit, NONSENSE!

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DEBTS, WORKS, AND KIDS

After coming back from sarawak, i did hope our relationship becomes stronger, blossoming everyday.

The widower, and the 4kids always had been the reason for our arguement.

And i hate it, when we fight like an evil!!

Till no more tears left for him

I dun even know if i still love him like before or not

But, i am very certain, my respect for him, fading away

I cannot balance my life. After coming home from work in ED, i will colllapse and sleep like there's no more tomorrow. Stress with work, spouse and home.

At last, i decided to resign, after considering the risk and possibilities.

and now, still looking for permanent jobplace to reside ...............

may Allah make ease and help me throughout my journey in this world ....aminnnnnnn ya rabbal alamin